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And then comes life…

This post was meant to be one of excitement, joy, and celebration!  However, sometimes life just doesn’t follow the plan we quite thought it would.  Before Christmas I found out I was expecting.  I was thrilled beyond words!  See my husband and I will be married 5 years this March and needless to say we’ve been “waiting” for a while.  You answer the “are you going to have any babies” with a smile and “yes.”  If they only knew that’s the only thing you’ve wanted since you can remember.
 
 
It was like p-e-r-f-e-c-t!  What better Christmas gift could one ask for?  It wasn’t a total surprise as we’ve been doing fertility treatments since last Christmas.  I had surgery in October and this was our “month.”  When I found out I was pregnant I was even more assured it was just perfect because my due date was my birthday, we would find our the sex around our anniversary, and so on. 

Christmas morning I began to spot…talk about some Christmas.  I was still thinking positively and called my Dr. the following day.  They said that is normal.  Then on Friday, it became something a lot more.  We rushed to our Dr. which is about an hour away.  They scanned me and we got to the see the baby safely snug as a bug.  I was told to take it easy and we’d see where things led.  On Sunday, it became a lot worse again so we went to the ER.  My Dr. was there so he came for the scan.  Again, we could see the baby {even bigger}.  The Dr. said the baby was hanging on but unsure if the pregnancy would stay.  On Wednesday it was my 6 wk scan… we received heartbreaking news that the baby was gone. 

After this happened to me I realized it’s actually quite common.  Also, because I have PCOS I have an even greater chance above the average person.  We will settle back into normal routines and push on, but the pain will still be there.  I’m very sorry if any of my readers have went through this experience as well.  It’s truly heartbreaking. 

I’m going to focus on getting healthier and staying busy. I wish each of you the happiest New Year!  I’m sticking close to God because only He knows what lies ahead.
 

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Comments

  1. Cynthia says

    January 4, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know several women who have experienced this and then the next time had normal pregnancies and healthy babies. God will see you through! God Bless!

    Reply
  2. Alessia Albanese says

    January 4, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Tara – I'm so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and know that one day you WILL be a mommy. Wishing you health and happiness for 2013!

    Ѽ Alessia
    Mrs. Albanese’s Kindergarten Class

    Reply
  3. Mrs. Sommer says

    January 4, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending thoughts your way!

    Reply
  4. Rachel Seymour says

    January 4, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    You and your hubby are definitely in my prayers! Keep God close…there is no better assurance!

    Rachel
    A-B-Seymour

    Reply
  5. Lisa K says

    January 4, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss! I feel your pain as I miscarried last year and am still waiting for baby #2 to bless my family. I have faith that God has a plan for you and for me! Although it sucks waiting to find out what that plan is! 🙂

    Reply
  6. The Bilingual Teacher says

    January 4, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Hi,

    I might not know you personally but I am very sorry for your loss. I will be keeping you in my prayers. God has everything in control!

    Angela

    The Bilingual Teacher

    Reply
  7. Kate says

    January 4, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss! I will keep you in my prayers!
    Kate
    http://funinecse.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  8. Linda McCardle says

    January 4, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    Hang in there, my daughter has PCOS and had exactly the same situation, but at this moment her 2 little girls are staying with me and are supposed to be having "quiet time" (HA!). She had to go back to school before me. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God 's blessings on you and your husband.
    Linda

    Reply
  9. FirstGradeBlueSkies (Jennifer) says

    January 4, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    ((hugs))
    Jennifer
    First Grade Blue Skies

    Reply
  10. Angela says

    January 4, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    XOXOXOXOXOXO times 1 million!!

    Angela
    The Daily Alphabet

    Reply
  11. Shuna Patterson says

    January 4, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    I am so sorry to hear that

    {{{hug}}}

    Reply
  12. Jennifer K. says

    January 4, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers!

    I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2000 that was misdiagnosed by a nurse/midwife as a miscarriage – for 2 weeks I stayed off my feet and prayed that the baby would make it. Then came the devastating news that there was absolutely no chance and I'd have to have surgery. I didn't think I would ever get over that, but within 6 months I got pregnant again with my oldest son. Sometimes I look at him and marvel that if I hadn't know the heartbreak of the ectopic pregnancy, I never would have known my son since I conceived him 2 months before my original due date!

    Hopefully God has something spectacular in your future – and you can look back and say "But for that pain, I would have never known such great joy." (((HUGS)))

    Jennifer @ Herding Kats In Kindergarten

    Reply
  13. Mrs. McHaffie says

    January 4, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    hugs, hugs, and more hugs!!
    Keeping you in my prayers that you will be lifted up and God will present you with an even bigger, better, and brighter plan!

    Kelly
    Beg, Borrow, Steal

    Reply
  14. Camille says

    January 4, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    Tara,
    I am sending lots of love your way! When your children do come, you will have already established an amazing bond with your husband. During these hard times, you two are drawing closer and closer together. My prayers are with you.
    Camille

    Reply
  15. Sarah says

    January 4, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    This is so heartbreaking! I'm sorry and am keeping you in my prayers. My future sister in law just lost a baby over the summer. 🙁 I agree giving yourself over to God will help. Hang in there!

    Sarah
    teachingiscolorful.blogspot.com

    Reply
  16. Tanya says

    January 4, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    I'm so sorry. Sending prayers your way.

    Tanya
    First Grade is Fantabulous!

    Reply
  17. Miss Kindergarten says

    January 5, 2013 at 1:26 am

    Tara…I am so sad for you :((( I am tearing up. I know how much you have been wanting this and how excited you were just a few short weeks back. I know God is looking out for you and your family. Lots and lots of love your way!!!

    Reply
  18. k5rocks says

    January 5, 2013 at 2:23 am

    I am so very sad for you today….. After eight years of "trying" and eleven miscarriages, my husband and I had the first of our two precious boys! They are now seven and five! There were days I was on my knees crying out to God as to 'why not me'….. keep the faith…. 'DELIGHT YOURSELF ALSO IN THE LORD AND HE SHALL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART' PSALM 37:4 and Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
    Crystal

    Reply
  19. Kim and Kelly says

    January 5, 2013 at 2:48 am

    We are so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers!! Bigs hugs going out to you and your husband!

    Reply
  20. Kimberlee :) says

    January 5, 2013 at 2:52 am

    SO sad that I am reads this, as my cousin just lost hers today (just found out about it a few secs ago). God is in control… Hang on tight to that!!! Many prayers your way … Kimberlee @ http://teachertakers.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  21. robyn says

    January 5, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    Hi Tara!
    So sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers. My sister has PCOS, and I know how it is so difficult on your body. She went through the similar situation, and then stopped with everything, and just put it in God's hands….I now have a 5 year old niece and 2 month old nephew. I am sending you hugs!
    Robyn

    Reply
  22. beebeetwins says

    January 5, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    So sorry Tara. Praying for you..

    Reply
  23. weety says

    January 5, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    I am so sorry you are going through such a painful time. You and your husband are in my prayers.

    Reply
  24. JulieKate says

    January 5, 2013 at 7:40 pm

    So sorry Tara, it is such a hard thing to cope with. Please know you have many people saying prayers for you!

    Reply
  25. Unknown says

    January 5, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    I am so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply
  26. Diane says

    January 5, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    I am sorry for your loss. Words cannot not heal the broken feeling but please know prayers are there for you and your husband to fall back on.

    Reply
  27. Anonymous says

    January 5, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    Thank you ALL for your very kind words and encouragement! It means so much to me 🙂

    Tara

    Reply
  28. krazy4K says

    January 6, 2013 at 2:39 am

    God bless you Tara. I had a miscarriage before I had our first child. I would tell you like I would tell anyone who has gone through it that it is a loss and you will need to take time to grieve through it. I am sad for you as I knew you were very excited about this but like you said trust in the Lord. Yesterday's devotional quote for me was "Faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and He will get us through it. Max Lucado" Praying for you!

    Reply
  29. Gladys says

    January 6, 2013 at 3:09 am

    Tara, so sorry about your loss. {{Hugs}} I'm praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  30. Sue Weber says

    January 6, 2013 at 4:15 am

    So sorry Tara for your loss.

    Reply
  31. Anonymous says

    January 7, 2013 at 12:00 am

    I am so very sorry. Many thoughts and prayers sent your way.
    Barb Forbes

    Reply
  32. Karyn says

    January 7, 2013 at 2:53 am

    Hugs and prayers sent your way Tara and lots of positive thoughts. :o)

    œKaryn
    A is for Apple B is for Blog
    Kideducator@comcast.net

    Reply
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  37. Anne Gardner says

    January 14, 2013 at 1:35 am

    Tara, I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless! (I lost my first baby many years ago, but was later blessed with two wonderful boys. I recall your pain all too well and wish you all the best!)

    Reply
  38. Elisabeth says

    February 3, 2013 at 7:10 am

    I didn't want to leave this page without a little note.
    I am very sorry for your loss. It truly is heartbreaking. I lost many pregnancies when we were trying for a baby, but just as I was giving up, i became pregnant with twins! My little boys are 2 1/2 now and the best (and most exhausting ;-)) thing that ever happened to me. I hope for you not to give up hope and that you will hold your very own little wonder in your arms one day soon.
    All the best, Elisabeth

    Reply
  39. LaTanya Handy says

    February 3, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    I absolutely adore you and your such an inspiration to me. Its my second year teaching and I look to you for ideas and encouragement. I am so sorry for your loss. I truly appreciate you for all the hard work you do to make my teaching experience so much easier. I wish you the best and will be praying that the Lord will allow you to have a child:)

    Reply
  40. LaTanya Handy says

    February 3, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    I absolutely adore you and your such an inspiration to me. Its my second year teaching and I look to you for ideas and encouragement. I am so sorry for your loss. I truly appreciate you for all the hard work you do to make my teaching experience so much easier. I wish you the best and will be praying that the Lord will allow you to have a child:)

    Reply
  41. Anonymous says

    February 3, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Thank you so much ladies! It means so much to me 🙂

    Tara

    Reply

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