And then comes life…

This post was meant to be one of excitement, joy, and celebration!  However, sometimes life just doesn’t follow the plan we quite thought it would.  Before Christmas I found out I was expecting.  I was thrilled beyond words!  See my husband and I will be married 5 years this March and needless to say we’ve been “waiting” for a while.  You answer the “are you going to have any babies” with a smile and “yes.”  If they only knew that’s the only thing you’ve wanted since you can remember.
 
 
It was like p-e-r-f-e-c-t!  What better Christmas gift could one ask for?  It wasn’t a total surprise as we’ve been doing fertility treatments since last Christmas.  I had surgery in October and this was our “month.”  When I found out I was pregnant I was even more assured it was just perfect because my due date was my birthday, we would find our the sex around our anniversary, and so on. 

Christmas morning I began to spot…talk about some Christmas.  I was still thinking positively and called my Dr. the following day.  They said that is normal.  Then on Friday, it became something a lot more.  We rushed to our Dr. which is about an hour away.  They scanned me and we got to the see the baby safely snug as a bug.  I was told to take it easy and we’d see where things led.  On Sunday, it became a lot worse again so we went to the ER.  My Dr. was there so he came for the scan.  Again, we could see the baby {even bigger}.  The Dr. said the baby was hanging on but unsure if the pregnancy would stay.  On Wednesday it was my 6 wk scan… we received heartbreaking news that the baby was gone. 

After this happened to me I realized it’s actually quite common.  Also, because I have PCOS I have an even greater chance above the average person.  We will settle back into normal routines and push on, but the pain will still be there.  I’m very sorry if any of my readers have went through this experience as well.  It’s truly heartbreaking. 

I’m going to focus on getting healthier and staying busy. I wish each of you the happiest New Year!  I’m sticking close to God because only He knows what lies ahead.
 

42 Comments

  5. I'm so sorry for your loss! I feel your pain as I miscarried last year and am still waiting for baby #2 to bless my family. I have faith that God has a plan for you and for me! Although it sucks waiting to find out what that plan is! 🙂

  8. Hang in there, my daughter has PCOS and had exactly the same situation, but at this moment her 2 little girls are staying with me and are supposed to be having "quiet time" (HA!). She had to go back to school before me. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God 's blessings on you and your husband.
    Linda

  12. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers!

    I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2000 that was misdiagnosed by a nurse/midwife as a miscarriage – for 2 weeks I stayed off my feet and prayed that the baby would make it. Then came the devastating news that there was absolutely no chance and I'd have to have surgery. I didn't think I would ever get over that, but within 6 months I got pregnant again with my oldest son. Sometimes I look at him and marvel that if I hadn't know the heartbreak of the ectopic pregnancy, I never would have known my son since I conceived him 2 months before my original due date!

    Hopefully God has something spectacular in your future – and you can look back and say "But for that pain, I would have never known such great joy." (((HUGS)))

    Jennifer @ Herding Kats In Kindergarten

  14. Tara,
    I am sending lots of love your way! When your children do come, you will have already established an amazing bond with your husband. During these hard times, you two are drawing closer and closer together. My prayers are with you.
    Camille

  15. This is so heartbreaking! I'm sorry and am keeping you in my prayers. My future sister in law just lost a baby over the summer. 🙁 I agree giving yourself over to God will help. Hang in there!

    Sarah
    teachingiscolorful.blogspot.com

  17. Tara…I am so sad for you :((( I am tearing up. I know how much you have been wanting this and how excited you were just a few short weeks back. I know God is looking out for you and your family. Lots and lots of love your way!!!

  18. I am so very sad for you today….. After eight years of "trying" and eleven miscarriages, my husband and I had the first of our two precious boys! They are now seven and five! There were days I was on my knees crying out to God as to 'why not me'….. keep the faith…. 'DELIGHT YOURSELF ALSO IN THE LORD AND HE SHALL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART' PSALM 37:4 and Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
    Crystal

  21. Hi Tara!
    So sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers. My sister has PCOS, and I know how it is so difficult on your body. She went through the similar situation, and then stopped with everything, and just put it in God's hands….I now have a 5 year old niece and 2 month old nephew. I am sending you hugs!
    Robyn

  28. God bless you Tara. I had a miscarriage before I had our first child. I would tell you like I would tell anyone who has gone through it that it is a loss and you will need to take time to grieve through it. I am sad for you as I knew you were very excited about this but like you said trust in the Lord. Yesterday's devotional quote for me was "Faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and He will get us through it. Max Lucado" Praying for you!

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  38. I didn't want to leave this page without a little note.
    I am very sorry for your loss. It truly is heartbreaking. I lost many pregnancies when we were trying for a baby, but just as I was giving up, i became pregnant with twins! My little boys are 2 1/2 now and the best (and most exhausting ;-)) thing that ever happened to me. I hope for you not to give up hope and that you will hold your very own little wonder in your arms one day soon.
    All the best, Elisabeth

  39. I absolutely adore you and your such an inspiration to me. Its my second year teaching and I look to you for ideas and encouragement. I am so sorry for your loss. I truly appreciate you for all the hard work you do to make my teaching experience so much easier. I wish you the best and will be praying that the Lord will allow you to have a child:)

  40. I absolutely adore you and your such an inspiration to me. Its my second year teaching and I look to you for ideas and encouragement. I am so sorry for your loss. I truly appreciate you for all the hard work you do to make my teaching experience so much easier. I wish you the best and will be praying that the Lord will allow you to have a child:)

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